I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
