check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
