My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize