Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
