You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When did angry sex become our thing?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
