I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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