Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
