she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
