I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
