I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
