He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
