we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
