i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
