part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
