she looked like the bat from fern gully.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize