i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
