I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
