Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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