she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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