I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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