i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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