What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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