dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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