The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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