remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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