i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
