well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
