She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
