why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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