this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
