I just threw up on my dentist
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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