and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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