i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
