i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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