There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
