I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The adults are the big ones right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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