Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
