You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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