I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
