i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
