i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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