i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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