Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
