I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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