Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
