Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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