she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
