I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
