It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
