I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he just fucked me for my cheese.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize