member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
