bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
