Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
