Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
