Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
