Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
