U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
