You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
