why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize