i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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