im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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