I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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