let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
