i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
